i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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