I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
