Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
