apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize