I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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