i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
