Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
