playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Less talking, more tequila
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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