i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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