I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she looked like the before picture.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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