I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
