I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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