She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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