i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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