Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
