i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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