You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
