I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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