Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
