Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
