I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
