Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
