Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
