It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
