i always forget guys have bellybuttons
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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