You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
