I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
