I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
