Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
