It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
