i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
