Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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