Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
