I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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