One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
