when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
