Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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