The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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