also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I love having hate sex.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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