New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
