dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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