he wants to bone in the snuggie
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
