he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
