sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
