I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
