shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
