yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
