Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
