I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
