we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
