I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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