Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
