Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
