mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
