What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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