it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize