Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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