shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
