I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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