all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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