Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
