So drunk its hurt
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
