Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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