Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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