your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
